Now we do the dance of joy (kind of)

Remember that show Perfect Strangers? Remember Balkie Bartakamus and his dance of joy? Tonight, tonight I do that dance of joy. I quit. I set myself free. I'd put a mountain of pressure on myself and gotten to the point where the thought of quitting was as horrible as the thought of continuing. It's ridiculous, but this was a really hard decision for me to make (ask my mom or any of the 3 friends who had to listen to me explore every conceivable option every day for the last month). I worried a lot about it, so much so that I made myself sick, almost daily, for the last month. It's hard because even as I sit here relieved, I'm close to crying because I'm disappointed with myself in a way. But I think the lesson here may be that there are limits to what a person could and should make themselves withstand. This statement is a thousand times too dramatic for the situation, but I had really begun to feel like I was living a lie. People would ask me how I was doing, and I just felt like a fraud. It's funny how even things that are good for you can totally mess you up. Deep breath...in...out...in...out...