I just saw a great Monster commercial during LOST (bliss, but that's another story). It's this guy with gigantic thighs. He goes underground and in a bicycle-y thing, another guy is pedaling and thus turning the world. When the guy stops pedaling, the world screeches to a halt, water sloshes out of a tub, a man falls off his motorcycle. Then they change places and the world starts turning again. Cut to a picture of Earth turning in space...then the tagline, "There's a perfect job for everyone." I hope that's true. I hope I can figure out what it is. It reminds me of another Monster commercial from a long time ago. A guy standing on the corner dressed as a clam passing out flyers...then the tagline, "Are you a happy clam, or just a guy in a happy clam suit?" That ad was legend in my office at Stein Mart. Every time someone was having a bad day, someone would ask, "Awww...are you just a guy in a happy clam suit?"

And I know paragraphs would be nice but I'm having some serious formatting issues and after trying to figure it out for 35 minutes, I give up.

Huh

I had a thought the other day - I can't imagine being in a relationship. Like, not at all. The strange thing is when I was in a relationship, I couldn't imagine not being in one. What's that about? Maybe it's my brain's way of keeping me from going crazy wanting something I don't have? 

Interesting.  

Secret Lives of Twist Ties

So there's a Sarah Harmer song that talks about the secret lives of twist ties. That came into my head today as I increased the functionality (I should so become a technical writer) of a paperclip on my desk. No longer just a handy device to hold my papers together, it now keeps my hair out of the way too. I've had one holding my bangs back all day and it's worked quite well. Just a thought if you're caught somewhere without a hair clip but with plenty of paperclips.

WooHoo

Austin is back on! And I WILL be taking a Segway tour!

The Incredible Edible Egg

I love eggs. Really love them. I think they may be the perfect food (as long as I don't think too hard about what they actually are and what they look like before they're cooked). Anyway, I bought my first dozen brown eggs the other day, which of course raised the question, "what makes them different than white eggs?"

Here's what I came up with - some eggs are white and some eggs are brown. That's really about it. They taste the same (my research supports that) and have the same nutritional stats. At one point, it was thought that brown eggs tasted better. This was probably due to the fact that the chickens that lay brown eggs were fed a variety of things by farmers on small farms, not by huge conglomerations that fed their chickens a very bland and boring diet. But now, huge conglomerations own everything and the chickens that lay brown eggs, the ones who had it so yummy and tasty for a while, get the same gruel as all the other chickens.

Yeah, but why are some brown and some white? White feathered chickens lay white eggs. Red feathered chickens lay brown eggs. Although the more I think about it, the more I realize that still doesn't really answer my question. Why? Why does feather color matter? Maybe that's just more than I really need to know.

Oh, there is one other difference - brown eggs are usually more expensive because the chickens that lay them are usually larger. One of the breeds that lays brown eggs is the Rhode Island Red. I'm pretty sure Foghorn Leghorn was a Rhode Island Red. I think the brown egg people should definitely think about using him to sell their product. I mean advertisers are clamoring to get Dora the Explorer to use this GPS navigation system or have Bob the Builder use those fancy tools. This is the most natural product placement ever - "Every one of our eggs is protected and approved for sale by our head of quality assurance, Foghorn Leghorn." Think about it brown egg people.

I put a new pic up on my profile. The funny thing is, it's pretty much the same picture as before just different clothes and hair. Go with what works, I guess.

I've been reading this book, "The Inheritance of Loss" by Kiran Desai, for like, oh I don't know, maybe a year now. That is NOT typical for me. I have a habit of reading several books at the same time, but I still always finish them in two weeks - at most. This one, not so much. I think I figured out last night that I have like 100 pages left. It's going to be a struggle to finish this book, and yet I refuse to give up (that trait needs to be a post all by itself). Holding the book in my hand and reading the review from Publisher's Weekly made it sound so promising: "In this alternately comical and contemplative novel, Desai deftly shuttles between first and third worlds, illuminating the pain of exile, the ambiguities of post-colonialism and the blinding desire for a "better life," when one person's wealth means another's poverty." I mean, that sounds really interesting, right? And I read her first novel "Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard" and loved it. Surely, I would love this book too.

But then I opened it up and knew, from the first chapter, that it was going to be a difficult book. Picking it up and then putting it down for months at a time has not helped my understanding of the story. I think there are cultural implications that I just can't wrap my brain around. But I'm to the point now that I don't care if I've understood it (which I haven't); I just want to say I finished it. It feels kind of like when I was in high school drama class and my partner and I had to write a play and we goofed off until like seconds before it was due and then my partner started getting all picky and ridiculous and I had to keep reminding him, "Not good, but done. That's all we're looking for. A "D" for crap is still better than an "F" for nothing."

Wow. After that analogy, I want to finish this book even LESS than before.

I have a big post in my head folks, I promise. It's building like Mt. Vesuvius.

In the meantime, think on this and feel free to let me know what you think. Is it worse to be needy or to be so strong you can't ask for help? I really don't know where that thought came from, but we'll go with it for now.

Why do the people at Lever2000 package their soap in a resealable paper box? They do know that soap is most commonly used with water, right?

Free Love

My friend and I were talking last night after The Amazing Race and we've decided we need to find a hippie boy to fall in love with. I'm a little wary of the combination of BO and patchouli, but as my friend said, we can always get some of that stuff that Medical Examiners put under their noses during autopsies. Besides, what's a little stank in the face of True Love?

Right?

Backlog

Another short post, but I don't have time for writing - only reading. I have 8 unread magazines sitting on my coffee table. When I woke up this morning I only had 6. In the space of a day, 2 more showed up. They're multiplying like glossy, news and entertainment-filled bunnies.

Happy New Year

May your days be merry and bright.