Gag. Literally.

I'm wondering if it's wrong that the best part of my day came when I was in the kitchen laughing and gagging and then laughing some more with one of my coworkers.

Here's what happened. B was unloading the dishwasher, but half the dishes were dirty. She picked up a plate that had something on it, and I was like "no no no...it's dirty." Once she looked down at it she started freaking out because it looked like old mayonnaise. Then she gagged a little. To make her feel better I told her that I was opening a FedEx envelope today and there was a hair on it and it made me gag. And then, telling her the story, it made me gag again; I have a thing about hair that's no longer attached to a person's body.

At this point we're laughing hysterically because we're apparently too delicate to unload dishwashers and open FedEx envelopes. Then I go to the trash can and see a big slab of lasagna in the trash and gag again. I told B to avoid looking in the trash can and then ran from the kitchen. I may never go in it again. A totally ridiculous thing, but completely hysterical.

Something to think about on a disgusting Wednesday morning...

"Stop looking for bananas from people who have no bananas. Some people just cannot offer you what you need. " Karen Salmansohn

Why is that always so hard to remember?

The Death of a Dream

For as long as I can remember (maybe 5 or 6 years...I have a short memory), I've wanted to learn how to knit. Apparently that was a pipe dream. I took my first class today and it was awful. The instructor, when she couldn't figure out what I'd done to add an extra loop to a whole line of stitches, was like "well, at least you're consistent." Consistently wrong she meant. I'm so disappointed, but I just could not follow what she was saying and having to focus on the needles and the yarn just gave me a big headache. Barb was like, "well, I guess I won't be expecting a scarf for Christmas!"

There goes my hopes for a handmade Christmas. Sigh....

I learned about 2 new genres of music today - horrorcore and folktronica. I don't think I'll be listening to either. Ever.

This is what I get.

So it's been raining for, I guess, 4 days now, maybe 5. That's a pain enough as it is, but adding a dog and freshly cut grass to the mix brings a whole new level to the irritation - it looks like the floor of a barn in here between the fur, dirt and grass everywhere. I've been sweeping and swiffering and vacuuming daily just trying to keep up with the mess we keep bringing in. Last night I got sick of it and decided I wasn't going to vacuum or mop again until it stops raining (which is predicted to be sometime in the next year, I gather).

But this afternoon I was sitting around being bone idle watching it rain (shocker) and decided I really should vacuum one more time. I get my handy little Eureka Quick Up out. This is the best little vacuum EVER (call me Eureka people!). As I'm about to unwind the cord, the handle slips out of my hand and the vacuum falls backwards to the ground. When the hook that holds the cord breaks off, I'm not too upset. I've had this $30 vacuum for 2 years in which time it has probably been dropped 100 times. Annoying, but not fatal. I throw the hook away and plan to just wrap the cord around the handle, which is the perfect plan, until the handle falls off in my hand. Waaah! I should have just waited until it stopped raining.

The moon looks like a sugared orange wedge.

Beautiful.

I got excited because tomorrow is Friday. 2 seconds later I got sad 'cause no, it's not.

Chicago

Most of these are from LB's camera, but here they are nonetheless. There's two of us at the jellybean. We actually probably took 10 photos there trying to get us lined up in the shot.

This makes me irrationally angry

You can buy this wall cling from Target. com:

Here's a thought: why not get the real thing? It might make you smarter, not just a better decorator. For some reason the very existence of this makes me a little bit crazy. They're called books people! Try one; you just might like it!

Not so easy

The hardest part of putting an 8x10 rug down? The rug pad - when you have a dog like mine.

Huh.

Another reason to lose 10 pounds - obesity appears to be a risk factor for swine (H1N3.14ZZZZZ whatever) flu. Huh.