I could never be Donald Trump.

Contract #485 (feels like) is in. This is IT! I hope! I won't sleep tonight.

I'm just saying...

I really don't want to get swine flu. 

Remember the "Friends" episode where Rachel took the pregnancy test and then Phoebe told her she wasn't pregnant, even though she really was? And Rachel was upset because she realized that she really wanted a baby? And then Phoebe said no, just kidding you really are having a baby and now you know how you really feel about it? I had that today except with a townhome, not a baby. 

Yeah, whatever.

I'm feeling all disconnected and emotionally ick tonight. Sigh. Also, the cold weather has made the skin on my hands crack; bottles of lotion have not made a dent. My thumb hurts and the crack on the side of it makes it hard to hit the space button. Double sigh. 

Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Lotion for the hands, then sleep, then a chance for a better, pain free tomorrow. Here's hoping...I wonder if that sentiment makes me optimistic or just stupid? But then my dog sniffs me like I might be some sort of imposter, and it makes me laugh and feel better. An optimist (against all odds), then, I guess.

I have on the most insane high heels right now, and they're actually comfortable. We'll see how I feel about 10 tonight (or five minutes from now for that matter).

Here's a picture of my new car. Let's take a look at the improvements over my former car:

Four doors.

Room for Elsa so she doesn't fall off the seat because she's too big to curl up on it.

Windows that go down and, most importantly, back up again.

A trunk that doesn't take the strength of Andre the Giant to open and doesn't threaten to close on you and snap you in half when it's cold.

A sunroof that doesn't have to be pushed to open.

A dashboard with nary a crack or view of the ground beneath.

I dashed out yesterday to Target and bought every possible auto protection/cleaner product I could. I always start with the best intentions...

This story should tell you all you need to know about me.

The other day, I had a container of pineapple chunks. I love pineapple. Too much pineapple, however, gives me a slight allergic reaction that makes my mouth itchy and my tongue swell a bit. I had eaten more of the pineapple than I knew I should have - there were only 3 chunks left. At this point, knowing I was going to suffer soon anyway, I ate the last 3 chunks. 

Feel free to draw your own conclusions from that story.  It may say more about me than pretty much anything I've ever posted.  

It's been a week since I posted, and I feel like I need to post something else but I can't say that I have that much to say.  My mind is kind of blissfully blank. That pretty much NEVER happens so I think I should enjoy it while I can.  

Of course I do have plenty of strange ideas left in me.  Here's one. Remember the Super Bowl commercial for Tide with the talking stain? It was a guy on an interview and the interviewer couldn't hear anything because any time the guy would go to talk, the stain would start yelling nonsense.  I was thinking that it would be nice if bruises could do that and tell you where they came from.  Of course, if you're not someone who has bruises all over your body 90% of the time, it might not be as intriguing a thought.  I remember a friend in college laughing and breathlessly saying, as her boyfriend tickled her, "Stop!  I bruise easily!"  I should have a t-shirt that says that.  

Saturday morning I looked down and had a bruise on my knee. Nothing bad. I'm sure I just bumped into something.  Lack of depth perception makes it hard to navigate corners and the tops of desks. So, no big deal.  But then I'm brushing my hair, and I see that I have one of the nastiest bruises I've had on the inside of my left arm.  I have no idea how I did it.  I did have my arm hooked over a metal chair for a large part of Friday night, but surely that couldn't bruise me, could it? Anyway, a talking bruise to say, "hey stupid, this is what you did." would be nice. In all aspects, I don't like not knowing.   

(More) Things You Never Needed to Know About Me

On Clothing, Shoes and Meg Ryan

Even though I am, perhaps, the very last person you'd think of if I said who reminds you of Meg Ryan, I kind of felt like her (circa "You've Got Mail") today.  I think it was the skirt, tights and shoes combination.

I shined my dull, scuffy black shoes today and each time I looked down, I felt a sense of accomplishment at my shiny shoes - which is better than the last time I wore them when I felt a sense of disappointment every time I looked down at my dull, scuffy shoes. I am tempted to go home and shine all of my shoes, but know I won't.

I wonder if it's my shoes that made me think about Meg Ryan or Meg Ryan that made me think about my shoes?  That's the universal question, in a way, I guess.  Chicken or the egg?  Meg Ryan or shoes? If you think pondering that question will help you figure out your place in the universe, then I give you my permission to ask it of yourself.  You're welcome.  

On Groceries

Clementines are my favorite fruit.  They are the sunshine of the beginning of my season of discontent each year.  They are also on sale at Publix for $3.99.

I think self checkout lines at groceries are stressful unless you're only buying two things.

I inadvertently spent $5 on three apples.  I forgot they're priced by weight.  No more big, fat Honeycrisp apples for me.  

On Illness, Kleenex (somewhere a trademark department cringes) and Purses

Since I have been sick, I have been very diligent in the kleenex department.  Today I realized that I have five pocket packs of kleenex in my purse, all in various stages of use (not use, use - that's gross. I mean a different number of tissues in each pack.  Just to clarify.) And at one point today, I also had two boxes of kleenex on my desk, but that was really out of my control.

Re:  kleenex.  I think my purse is too big.

The Red Cross is stalking me.  I may have to file a restraining order.

I feel like there was some other minutiae I was going to share with the world, but now I can't remember what it was.  So there you have it - some things about me today, Monday, December 10, 2007.  My computer, Nashville, Tennessee, United States, North America, Earth, Milky Way, Infinity.

For no apparent reason, I'd like to tell you that my favorite dinosaur is the Brachiosaurus. Here's a picture:

That's a happy dinosaur, right? When I was in grade school my parents helped me make a papier mache Brachiosaurus. And by helped, I mean they made a papier mache Brachiosaurus. But I was the one who painted him a strange brown color. I think he might be around somewhere still. He's probably hidden wherever the handmade, hand-painted pig with the sunshine on his butt is. Sigh...nobody gets my artistic genius.

(On papier mache art projects - I think that's probably the kind of thing they don't tell you about when you want kids. WARNING! You will be forced to create extinct animals from gooey, watery paste, paper towel holders, newspapers and a hairdryer at 10 o'clock the night before the project is due. Also you'll have to make a diorama of the desert.)

More happiness that money can buy and some that it can't

Introducing my new furniture. TA DA! It makes me very happy. It was a little more than $3 though. Interestingly, the circumstances around it being delivered make me just as happy as the new furniture does.

I've been extremely blessed this week by easy sailing. Easy sailing is not something I usually expect. Crisis? Plague? Nuclear explosion? That's what I usually expect (could it be that I get these things because they're what I expect?). But, I think because I've been having a stressful time the last couple of weeks, God decided to take some roadblocks out of my way.

I have a great friend who let me borrow his car while mine was in the shop. My car bill was $0, even though they did a lot of work figuring out what was wrong with it to begin with. WalMart (of all places) replaced my tire for free; I didn't even have to resort to threats! My furniture was delivered 10 minutes BEFORE the delivery window - even on Friday the 13th. Seriously, if any one of these things had gone wrong, it would have added so much extra stress that I prolly would have had my own nuclear explosion. But no, everything was fine. That's an unbelievable blessing, and I can't even express how grateful I am for all the things that somehow managed to go right.

LIFE IS GOOD.

Crash (I'm the last splash)

I'm having a weird blood sugar moment. I hate when this happens. I'm all shaky and weak and it leads me to eat a lot of weird stuff just trying to get everything back on track. A couple of almonds, some whole wheat wheat thins and a glass of orange juice.

Type A (and I don't mean blood)

I had an epiphany tonight. So, this is me: Control Freak. But here's the twist: I'm really only interested in controlling the things I can't control - the weather, other people, the future, etc...The things that are actually in my power to change - like my attitude, my actions, my present day - I'm like, "Eh, eff-it. Controlling those things is not as heady (or maddening) as playing God and trying to control the uncontrollable."

Interesting. Very interesting.

It's Never Rained Like It Has Tonight Before

This has been one of the most awful, up and down, emotional weeks I've ever had. I guess there might be a few other weeks that rival or even surpass it for outright crappiness (I can name 2 without thinking), but it was the dizzying heights and the crashing lows that were the real problem.

Despite all that, I didn't break down and cry like a baby at the Patty Griffin concert. It's a feat I'm semi-amazed at, because I cry when I listen to her even when everything is A-OK. When she sang "Rain," I felt the tears welling up to the tip top, but they didn't fall (surface cohesion at work, I guess). I blinked them back with all I had because I refused to be the dope that personalizes everything they hear. At least I refused to be that person for a minute, and that was enough to get me through it.

It was a great concert, and I'm wearing an awesome t-shirt now. It's my new favorite t-shirt. I may never take it off again. It combines two of my favorite things - Patty G. and birds. Bliss.

What a weekend!

Don't you hate when the weekend's over and it feels like you didn't even have one? That was mine this weekend. Pretty much every hour was scheduled (with fun stuff, but still). I hate that. I need some lay around and do nothing time each weekend. Now I've got 5 days until my next chance at relaxation. Poo.

Huh!

I dyed my hair and no one can tell. I guess it's a good thing that it's not radical, but the funny thing is that it looks pretty different to me. I love it, actually; it makes my eyes really green.

Afternoon Slump

I am painfully tired. In addition to a fuller schedule, I've had some rockin' insomnia (not even sleeping on my couch, the usual cure-all, has helped). My brain is itchy, and I want to cry.

I don't handle being tired well. It makes me a mess. To those that know me, this is how tired I am - I've resorted to drinking Red Bull and coffee (not together, that would be overkill plus grosser than gross). I HATE both of those things.

I just want a good night's sleep. I may resort to hitting myself with a mallet if I can't sleep tonight.

What a Difference 30 Minutes Make

I'm tired! 8:00 instead of 8:30 makes an annoyingly large difference - especially when you didn't sleep the night before (prolly because of nerves).

So in the spirit of the new year and resolutions and all that crap - now you know how I feel about resolutions - here are two of mine.

1. Use less conditioner (got to have some easily accomplishable ones).
2. Learn to cook.

So far, both resolutions are coming along well. In fact, last night, I ate a yummy - although not quite stew-y - beef stew. It was more like beef and vegetables with a light sauce, but still not a bad start.

When it's cold outside, I wear socks to bed. But, sometimes in the middle of the night after I've gotten all bundled up under the covers, I get hot. Instead of taking my socks off deliberately, I kick them off in my sleep and the socks stay there wedged at the bottom of the bed. After a couple of nights of this, my bed starts to get a little full and I have to dive under the covers to find all my socks.

Last night I hopped in bed with cold feet and felt around with my toes until I located some socks. I pulled them on and went to sleep. This morning I woke up with my "angry sheep" sock on my right foot and my "superdog" sock on my left foot.

What I Love This Morning

Knee Socks
Down Comforters
iPods
Drives on Sunny Days
Flowers for No Reason
My Brown Boots