Of all the Charlie Brown's in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.

I hurt myself, in the most ridiculous way (the most common way I hurt myself now that I think about it), at work today. I stabbed myself through my nail and into my finger with my exacto. There's really no reason that this should have been possible, but I managed it. The injury is practically microscopic, and yet it now hurts like someone shoved bamboo rods underneath my fingernail. 

This story actually goes with a longer post - that I haven't written yet - about how of all the stupid people in the world, I've got to be the stupidest. These stories involve a loaf of bread and an umbrella. Maybe I'll tell you them tomorrow. Right now, me and my oddly painful finger are going to bed.