I wonder if I can find out where Lloyd Dobl...I mean John Cusack lives?

Watch out Chicago! This hot girl is comin' to your town to heat things up in January...

An Ode to Winter

Ok, not so much an ode as a song, a song that is only peripherally about winter. So whatever...But, it does have what is at this moment my favorite lyric -Your name is the splinter inside me. So descriptive, and yet so simple. This is the kind of thing that people who write, wish they wrote.

I should know who I am by now
I walk the record stand somehow
Thinkin' of winter
Your name is the splinter inside me
While I wait

And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wake

The walk has all been cleared by now
Your voice is all I hear somehow
Calling out winter
Your voice is the splinter inside me
While I wait

I could have lost myself
In rough blue waters in your eyes
And I miss you still
"Winter" Josh Radin

The whole winter theme reminds me (I'm not sure why) of my quest to make a CD that has the names of all the months of the year. Strangely enough, although I've been able to think of some fall and winter songs - spring and summer, not so much. Here's all I have so far:

"September" Earth, Wind and Fire
"November Rain" GNR (rock!)
"Long December" Counting Crows

And I could technically use this song and get November and December out of the way all at one time. But that's all I can think of. I think that John Mayer might have a song with some months in it, but maybe not, maybe it's just holidays. Can anyone help me out?

Snow...

...YAY!

It's good, when you're having an annoying day, to look HOT and have really nice smelling hair. That's what I think, at least.

Is this the real life "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"?

Stress, Dealing with the Holidays and

This year I'm trying yoga and kid's movies like "Ice Age 2: The Meltdown" and "Over the Hedge."

The Long Ride Home

I've had some time to think about it
And watch the sun set like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long ride home
"Long Ride Home" Patty Griffin

I've had several long rides home during my lifetime. One was when my dad died; another a few weeks later when I came home for the first Thanksgiving without him. The latest long ride home was tonight.

And I know I'm not the only one. I know there are people all over the country taking long rides home this weekend. I have friends who are spending their first holidays without loved ones, family and friends of friends who are spending the last holiday with a loved one.

Here's to trying to find beauty in the ride.

Happy Thanksgiving all. To my friends and family, each of you are what I'm thankful for. You've made me what I've become this year - so much stronger, braver, happier, goofier, surer of myself. Thanks for accompanying me on the dark and light parts of the ride.

Boy do I have a lot to say...

But I don't have time to say it. Grrr. I want my computer back! Hopefully next week...

So here's my initial thought (I'll try to come back to this later). I thought Grey's Anatomy last night was great. I was, stupidly enough, in tears for most of it. Sniff. At one point Addison looks down at her ex-husband and then at her hand, where she's still wearing her wedding ring, and says something to the effect of "everyone is moving on." I was thinking about that and how the corollary to that is - to move on you have to let go.

And I think that's the rub. Moving on isn't the hard part, I think it just happens; it's the letting go you have to work on. I've been talking with a friend who's thinking of ending a 10+ year relationship and every time we talk, I'm struck by how much this break up sounds like mine. I think it's actually been good for me to see inside that relationship. It's given me a lot more insight to (and empathy for) me AND my ex partner. But it's so hard to do, and I see my friend struggling with the letting go, even though he knows he's ready to move on. It makes me sad for them and us (me & my ex) and everyone else who's had to make a decision like this.

And it's not just relationships, not by a long shot. I'm back to square one with a decision I made months ago, and I feel lost all over again. I wonder if all the roadblocks I keep running into are a sign that I need to move on to something else. I guess my problem is that I have a hard time knowing when you DO need to let go. I can be a bit stubborn, so once I've gotten something in my head, I seem to lose the ability to recognize the times when giving up, moving on and letting go are the best options.

Sigh...

Let Me Entertain You

May I suggest the soundtrack to "The Last Kiss"?

The Joy of Text

I love texting. It's so immediate. So pithy. So useless for meaningful conversation. So fun to see what you spell using T9.

Speaking of texting, my cell phone is on its way out apparently (as are a lot of my other electronic apparati). Think it's time to start looking for a new one. Yippee - that's always fun. I am almost male in my fondness for new gadgets and gizmos.

I just got the most beautiful roses from one of my best friends. The picture doesn't do them justice. They are gorgeous! I like getting weekly flower deliveries - it rocks!

You know those days when everything goes wrong and you can't seem to catch a break and you just want to cry with the frustration of it all? I'm having one of those. It's nothing big, just lots of little things piling up and conspiring to make my day, excuse my French, shitty.

GRRRRRRR...

My job is stressing me out, and I don't like it. I will be stopping at the liqour store on my way home tonight. I think I'm going to need a little wine with my Grey's.

When it's cold outside, I wear socks to bed. But, sometimes in the middle of the night after I've gotten all bundled up under the covers, I get hot. Instead of taking my socks off deliberately, I kick them off in my sleep and the socks stay there wedged at the bottom of the bed. After a couple of nights of this, my bed starts to get a little full and I have to dive under the covers to find all my socks.

Last night I hopped in bed with cold feet and felt around with my toes until I located some socks. I pulled them on and went to sleep. This morning I woke up with my "angry sheep" sock on my right foot and my "superdog" sock on my left foot.

What I Love This Morning

Knee Socks
Down Comforters
iPods
Drives on Sunny Days
Flowers for No Reason
My Brown Boots

Boo!

It looks like Halloween out. Very cool. I'm wearing my "Wicked" socks. They make me happy.

In fact, it's so much like Halloween out, that Dorothy just walked past my window. Side note - I have an obsession with The Wizard of Oz. I just LOVE it. I remember being a kid and watching it every year it came on.

This is a haunted house...allegedly. I don't know where it is; just found the picture and decided to post it in the spirit of the day.

Bugs

There's a Praying Mantis on my window at work. He's gray, although I thought they were supposed to be green. Do they change colors like lizards, I wonder? Oops, he just fell off my window. So much for that distraction...

A Lullaby (of sorts)

May you dream you are dreaming, in a warm soft bed
And may the voices inside you that fill you with dread
Make the sound of thousands of angels instead
Tonight where you might be laying your head

But darling, I wish you well
On your way to the wishing well
Swinging off of those gates of hell
But I can tell how hard you're trying
Just have that secret hope
Sometimes all I do is cope
Somewhere on the steepest slope
there'll be an endless rope
And nobody crying.
"Nobody's Crying" Patty Griffin


I'm down, and the weather isn't helping. I had a sad dream the other night, and I can't shake it. I think it's funny (yeah, a riot) that even if you can make your waking mind forget, your unconscious is always ready to bring everything back to the surface. Great, just great.

Blah. I would like some sun please. And some chocolate.

I found the song from Grey's Anatomy where Callie is dancing - with what could only be described as abandon - around in her room. The song is "The Mating Game" by Bitter:Sweet. I’m going home, putting on some boycut briefs, sunglasses and a t-shirt, and I’m going to DANCE. I hope I look half as hot as she did.

I've said it once and I'll say it again (apparently)...

The place I work is where love, and staplers, go to die.