Grrrr...

I made a noodle bowl for lunch today. EVEN THOUGH I was very aware that I needed to dump the water out very carefully, forces were working against me. The steam burned my hand, my hand jerked away from the bowl, the lid fell off and my noodles ended up in the kitchen sink. Sigh.

But, I decided to use this as an object lesson to help me study for my test on the nervous system tomorrow. Let's see...so me jerking my hand away from the sensation of pain shows my Class A Fibers in action. Class A Fibers, not to be confused with Class B or C Fibers, have the largest diameter of neuron fibers and are fully myelinated. Being fully myelinated helps increase the speed with which these fibers can detect and then relay stimuli to the brain. You can find Class A Fibers in both sensory and motor nerves. And, if I have it right, the sensory A fibers were the ones that said to my brain, via my spinal cord, "Ouch! That's hot. We should do something about that." Then, my motor A fibers told my skeletal muscles, "Hey dummy! That's hot. Move your hand." Or something like that.

Just in case you wanted to know.

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

So if you're a regular reader of my blog, you may have noticed that I have slacked off a bit in the posting department, both in quantity (and maybe quality) and length of posts. Things have gotten really busy lately with school coming to a close for the semester (4 tests in 2 weeks, how much fun is that?) but that's not the only reason.

I was talking to a friend the other night about blogging and why I do it and this popped out: "I find it easier to blog when I'm sad or upset. It's my outlet when I need to let stuff out." I think everyone could agree with me on that. But are we getting the "meta-message" here? I hope so.

The realization made me, well, happy.

YAY FOR GIRLS!

I just have to say, I love my girls! It's been a long time since I've really felt like I had girlfriends, and now I have so many. It's great to know you always have someone to talk to or someone to do something with if you need distraction, a laugh, or a hand.

Speaking of, better go consult on outfit choices for the night! What's more fun that that?

This is the fun part - when anything (or nothing) could happen.

What a weekend!

Don't you hate when the weekend's over and it feels like you didn't even have one? That was mine this weekend. Pretty much every hour was scheduled (with fun stuff, but still). I hate that. I need some lay around and do nothing time each weekend. Now I've got 5 days until my next chance at relaxation. Poo.

You have to watch this...

...you will scream in disbelief at the cuteness of it. Make sure you watch until the end. The real cuteness is there.

Otters Holding Hands

whatever normal is now

"It's been a year of strange choices and often embarrassing decisions on my part. I've made new relationships and lost others. Some people involved with all of this were more innocent than others. Those who weren't know who they are. There are others that will be shocked by what I have to say here. There are some who probably knew what I was doing all along. My only defense is that I never meant to hurt anybody. Looking back now, I know I was searching for something."
"Why Girls Are Weird" Pamela Ribon

I could have written that about my last year. I'm tired of the strange choices and embarrassing decisions. What I feel is no longer new or newsworthy, not even to me. What I feel isn't important now; it's not even particularly interesting anymore. My year of magical thinking is over. I'm still searching, but not for the same things. I wish it was as easy as shutting off a switch, but if it was, I would have done that long ago. I think. Maybe. As well as a first class magical thinker, I'm a glutton for punishment too.

It's strange how things speak to you sometimes. I have to admit that I'm the kind of person that looks for things, for connections, for signs, for meaning, for something (for anything, it feels like sometimes). I need a reason. There has to be a reason, right? Except maybe there isn't. Or maybe there is, but maybe you will never understand it. Maybe you don't need to. Maybe understanding is less important than accepting.

"Well I've been here before, sat on a floor in a grey grey mood, where I stay up all night and all that I write is a grey grey tune. So pray for me child, just for a while, that I might break out, yeah. Pray for me child, even a smile would do for now."
"Grey Room" Damien Rice

Expanded Pink Bullets

I am in love with The Shins. Here's more from that song "Pink Bullets." It's such a lovely song and sweet video. YouTube it if you haven't seen it.

When our kite lines first crossed
We tied them into knots
And to finally fly apart
We had to cut them off.

Since then it's been a book you read in reverse
So you understand less as the pages turn
Or a movie so crass
And awkardly cast
That even I could be the star.

I don't look back much as a rule
And all this way before murder was cool
But your memory is here and I'd like it to stay
Warm light on a winter day.

In case you were wondering...

...which Seattle Grace doctor I am most like, it's Addison.

Silly, but if you want to see who you are go here.

Pink Bullets

But your memory is here and I'd like it to stay,
warm light on a winter's day.

Should you shave your head? Make a big change? Do something symbolic? Read this. It might help you decide.

I Wish You Had Seen This

This story is the perfect example of how trying too hard NOT to do something can actually make that thing happen. It's like how you're not supposed to think about or look at the scalding hot mug of tea when you're carrying it because if you do, you're bound to slosh it over the edge and burn yourself.

The story starts yesterday morning when a big glob of toothpaste fell onto the top to my can of mousse. In a rush as I always am, especially on Tuesdays, I left the glob to clean up later or never - whichever came first. This morning I needed to use my mousse so I was very carefully trying to remove the top (this is the scalding hot tea part) without sticking my hand into the goopy toothpaste. Somehow, I squeezed the top too hard, it shot off over my head, hit the bathroom floor, ricocheted up about 6 inches onto the tile wall, AND STUCK THERE.

We would have laughed about this. I wish you had seen it.

The Guilty Pleasures are my guilty pleasure.

I was reading this last night before class, and it was exactly how I was feeling (especially strange that it was a Tuesday and she's talking about a Tuesday too).

HAPPINESS
I'm turning left. Look, everyone, my blinker is on, and I'm turning left. I am so happy to be alive, driving along, making a left turn. I'm serious. I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing at this moment: existing on a Tuesday, going about my business, on my way somewhere, turning left. There is nothing disconcerting or unpleasant or unfortunate about this moment. It is exceptionally nice, plain, and perfect.

-Amy Krouse Rosenthal from Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life

Huh!

I dyed my hair and no one can tell. I guess it's a good thing that it's not radical, but the funny thing is that it looks pretty different to me. I love it, actually; it makes my eyes really green.

So here's something I've been thinking about lately. I've been kicking around some ideas about fear and how it keeps us (general) passive, unhappy and paralyzed. Was it Marx that said "Religion is the opiate of the masses"? I think these days "Fear is the opiate of the masses." is closer to the truth.

The whole concept of fear has come up way too much lately to just be coincidence...I think it's life lesson time. I'm just not sure yet what that means. That's a pain, huh, not knowing quite what it is that you're supposed to be learning?

I keep thinking that 2007 could be a great year for me:

I could finally get around to writing my book.

I could go back to school.

I could learn to cook.

I could fall in love again.

I could buy a house.

I could choose to stop doing unhealthy things – financially, emotionally, physically – and really make some progress in growing.

I could change my life in a million ways big and small.

So here's the question I've been pondering, and I'd be interested to know if any of you have answers of your own: If there was no such thing as fear, how would you be living your life differently right now?

Seriously...

What good is snow at night? It's snow days, people, not snow nights! The whole purpose of snow (besides snow days) is the feeling - like free therapy - you get when you watch it fall.

I'd like to send a big thank you out to whoever made the snowman in Metrocenter this morning. It made me happy. Also happy making were the two people sledding down the hill near my office. The sledding was just so-so, but the falling/scrambling/falling again they did trying to get back up the hill was HI-larious.

Don't expect to see me in the days following July 21;

I have a date with a boy and his destiny. Yippee!

Casualty

Another casualty of fatigue (besides my sense of humor, perspective, and social life) is my laugh. Several friends have recently noted that I laugh differently when I'm really tired. Strange, eh?

Snort. Guffaw. HaHa. Har.

I hate chemistry.

That is all.