Thursday, November 29, 2007

I've heard it said that every pot has a lid. But what if I'm a wok? Or a crepe pan? Do they have lids too?

(and what if I'm not a cooking implement at all?)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Thursday, November 22, 2007

gobble, gobble, sip, burp

I went to the liquor store yesterday at lunch. Let me offer some advice: don't go to the liquor store the day before Thanksgiving. Trust me, and you're welcome.

The man in front of me bought $178 worth of liquor. I'm thinking he's either going to have a great Thanksgiving or his guests, in an alcohol induced rage, are going to turn on him and chase him around with the carving knife or set his house on fire after a turkey frying accident. Either way, I bet it will be a Thanksgiving celebration to witness; any family dynamics that require that much booze have to be entertaining.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm a big fan of magical thinking

Sometimes I think "If I pick up my paper towel that fell out of the trash and onto the floor because the can was too full, it will add to my bank of karma and make my life better." Maybe, though, all it really does is make me a little less lazy and the bathroom a little cleaner. Then again, maybe it's all the same thing.

...sigh...
For no apparent reason, I'd like to tell you that my favorite dinosaur is the Brachiosaurus. Here's a picture:

That's a happy dinosaur, right? When I was in grade school my parents helped me make a papier mache Brachiosaurus. And by helped, I mean they made a papier mache Brachiosaurus. But I was the one who painted him a strange brown color. I think he might be around somewhere still. He's probably hidden wherever the handmade, hand-painted pig with the sunshine on his butt is. Sigh...nobody gets my artistic genius.

(On papier mache art projects - I think that's probably the kind of thing they don't tell you about when you want kids. WARNING! You will be forced to create extinct animals from gooey, watery paste, paper towel holders, newspapers and a hairdryer at 10 o'clock the night before the project is due. Also you'll have to make a diorama of the desert.)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Quick Rant

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE ROADS IN TENNESSEE?

Has the state ever considered using reflective paint for the roads so when it's dark or raining (or God forbid, dark and raining) drivers can actually SEE the road? That was one of the first things I noticed when I moved here 5 years ago, and it makes me as irate now as it did then.

Friday, November 09, 2007

It'll all be better in the daylight...

I think I have already established on several occasions that I am a fraidy cat at night (if you didn't know this about me, see here). This is not improved by my tendency to have nightmares. The women in my family seem to have a lot of nightmares. I was hoping that this trait had skipped me, and for 29 years or so, it seems it did. But in the last year, I've started having nightmares a lot more frequently. Whereas I used to have a nightmare and just wake up in a sweaty panic, the last few nightmares have sent me either scurrying to the other side of the bed or bolting out of the bed all together. It's really disorienting to suddenly be awake and panting, standing by your bed. Last night I dreamt I woke up and someone was lying beside me, and unfortunately it wasn't anyone like say, Brad Pitt. When I woke for real, I was at kneeling at the bottom of my bed saying "no, no, no." Scary. Disconcerting.

I decided to do some quick research on nightmares. Here's what I found on the website for the International Association for the Study of Dreams: The most common nightmare is one where you are being chased. In adults the chaser is usually an unknown male figure, but for kids the chaser is more commonly an animal or some sort of fantasy figure. I think that's really interesting. I wonder if that has to do with children being more innocent and less likely to associate a person with wanting to harm them? Just a thought.

Sidenote - does the dream where you feel like you're falling and then jerk awake count as a nightmare? Because I actually have that dream several times a month and have had as long as I can remember. An interesting sidenote to that sidenote is that I heard it theorized that the dream comes from the collective unconscious' memories of the time when we were swinging through the trees and a fall could mean death which led to this ingrained fear of falling which eventually led to the dream. Something like that. I don't believe in evolution that way, but it's quite a convenient theory for the dream.

All that to explain why I'm tired and somewhat cranky today. Dreams like that don't make for peaceful sleep later in the night.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

So I was thinking about how funny, and slightly sad, it is to grow up and have your birthday wishes turn from things like ponies, puppies and Easy Bake Ovens into things like DustBusters and electric blankets - items that are actually on my wish list this year.

But no matter how grown up we get, some of those outrageous wishes still pop up. This is mine:

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Torture

It's not waterboarding, but I wonder what Attorney General nominee Michael Mukasey would have to say about this:

Police: Students Used Cookies to Torture

And just as an exercise in creativity, try to imagine what this article might be about before you click the link.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

A clean house is a thing of beauty and a joy forever (or until it gets dirty again).

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Now, I have something to say.

So I've always thought that tickets were important, nay necessary, for shows which is why I left dinner to go back to my house to print my ticket which is why I freaked out when I got to Exit/In and realized that after I printed my ticket, I left it on the kitchen table. Aye Aye Aye. But apparently tickets aren't as necessary as I've always thought because I got in without having to do any of the things I was prepared to do - cry, beg, say "I'm with the band." authoritatively.

I love a man from Moscow. Idaho, that is. He (Josh Ritter) appeals to my (not so) inner dork. And he sang all my favorite songs.

Babe we both had dry spells,
hard times in bad lands
I'm a good man for ya,
I'm a good man
"Good Man"

Once I knew a girl in the hard hard times
She made me a shirt out of fives and dimes
Now she's gone but when I wear it she crosses my mind
And if the best is for the best then the best is unkind
"Best for the Best"

I pretty much don't know anything about anything, but listen to his music. I think almost anyone could find something to like.

Friday, November 02, 2007

I feel like I should be writing something, but I just don't have much to say. So there. You can't make me. Nya-nya.