Here's a picture of my new car. Let's take a look at the improvements over my former car:

Four doors.

Room for Elsa so she doesn't fall off the seat because she's too big to curl up on it.

Windows that go down and, most importantly, back up again.

A trunk that doesn't take the strength of Andre the Giant to open and doesn't threaten to close on you and snap you in half when it's cold.

A sunroof that doesn't have to be pushed to open.

A dashboard with nary a crack or view of the ground beneath.

I dashed out yesterday to Target and bought every possible auto protection/cleaner product I could. I always start with the best intentions...