La La La I'm So Stupid

On average, how many stupid things do you do a day?

I do an average of 12.4.

My first stupid thing today was putting both contacts in the same eye. Don't ask me; I don't know what I was doing either.

Five stupid things involve me tripping on the carpet at work, and at least one stupid thing a day is related to me cutting corners too quickly and then running into said corners. Occasionally I hit my head when I bend over to pick things up. Rather too often, my hair gets caught in the car door when I close it. Several times, my chair has gone out from under me. The real joke was, no one pulled it.

The .4 comes from when I do stupid things that people don't see. Actually, that would be closer to 184.4, but who's counting?

My lower body is typically covered in bruises inflicted from the foot board of my bed and the corner of my desk. Now that I think about it, bruises are kind of like nature's tattoos - only less permanent. Each one shows your individuality and gives clues about what you like to do. I like to run into things apparently.

It's probably not a good thing that I am now forced to work with lots of sharp objects like scissors, exacto knives and box cutters. My 3rd day at my job I was sent home early after slicing my middle finger open. Papercuts abound here too.

I've had the thought many times before that I would be safest inside one of those padded rubber sumo suits, either that or a bubble.

You could call me Alli-san or Bubble Girl.